First Quarter Moon Aquarius

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Happy Aquarius season ♒︎ guys!

I haven’t been writing for a week here, the longest period since I started this blog last year. I am feeling a wee bit of a writer-FOMO, so here are some random observations I noted down in the journal recently —

I use a 400-page black Moleskine to journal. It was a birthday gift from Fafa. At first, I thought it would be my annual journal. But now, only five months in and having used up 3/4 of it, I think I will be getting myself a new journal for my half-birthday in March.

One of the reasons that I haven’t been writing much on the blog is because I am hitting a tarot-reading wall. For some reason, I have been feeling a little less excited about journaling about tarot recently. Not sure whether I am even allowed to say that, but that’s the truth. I have come up with solutions, though. I have started journaling tarot with prompts given by the Moon Void Tarot‘s creator, Stefanie Caponi to honor the Aquarius season (my Moon sign).

I also bought another tarot deck—my first-quarter purchase (hey, I lasted 20 days! Now, I have to go through the next 70-something days without buying another deck). It’s the Fifth Spirit Tarot which sits on top of my 2021 tarot deck list. Yesterday, I saw that Two Sided Tarot has it listed on their website and with only AUD10 shipping, I knew I shouldn’t wait any longer.

One last thing about tarot: I am looking for a tarot deck with continuity or a similar theme throughout the deck. The Moon Void Tarot deck has been the closest I’ve got, but the non-human court-cards broke the singular theme thing that it had going for it.

Even though I haven’t been writing much here, I have been compiling random notes I wrote here and there — paper and digital — into my Day One App. Maybe I can share some of the not-super-boring ones here?

Also, even though I haven’t been writing much, I have been running. I registered for a measly 10km run in October. That gets me going. I am clocking in 3km every run, but with an embarrassing pace to be shared here.

The last best coffee I had was well, not a coffee. We went to Brunswick last weekend to feast on a crab at Miss Katie’s Crab Shack. On the way back, we stopped at one of my favourite coffee shops in Melbourne for some sit-down coffee chai.

This month, I dreamt of Fafa bringing and or showing me a ladybug. Twice. Google told me that it’s a symbol of good luck.

This week, I tried a new Thai dish called Hor Mok for the first time. It’s steamed fish cooked with coconut cream, curry and basil leaf served banana leaf cup. I ordered it because it reminded me of Kerala Meen Pollichathu, but it tasted closer to Cambodian Fish Amok.

Yesterday, I found out that all this while I have been cooking and eating butter that has expired in 2019.

Today, I woke up reminiscing about my Uni time. Jik and I used to sneak into each others class. Even though we majored in different subjects and went to different Universities. And hers was more fun than my boring Accounting lectures.  Then, I realized that taking up CPA is like adopting the worst part of schooling-the studying and exam parts. Ugh!

I realize more and more that I am a creature of routines and rituals. So instead of ignoring it, I should use those things as a foundation of my daily life.

Half-naked yoga brings me joy.

♒︎K

Film Camera MjuII Kodak Color 400 Four of Cups Moon Void Deck Tarot Goals Winery

My 22 Tarot Goals

  1. Complete the posts on the traditional meanings and keywords of the 78 tarot cards.
  2. Complete the 78 tarot memoir I started last November.
  3. Give free tarot readings to others for practice.
  4. Note down all new and full moon tarot spread in one year.
  5. Practice reading with two and more tarot cards and more tarot spread.
  6. Carry my tarot deck everywhere.
  7. Combine my photography and tarot passions.
  8. Study the connections between tarot cards and arts.
  9. Find real-life depiction of the image on the tarot cards.
  10. Interview a tarot reader and a female tarot deck creator.
  11. Incorporate Oracle into my tarot practice.
  12. Get a professional tarot reading done.
  13. Work and shed more light into difficult cards.
  14. Create stories with more than a single tarot card.
  15. Be a part of and participate actively in the tarot community.
  16. Read and review a tarot book.
  17. Get a tarot tattoo.
  18. Turn the blog to be a bit more tarot-savvy. 
  19. Memorize the keywords of each tarot cards.
  20. Support indie tarot decks created by female artists.
  21. Lean on tarot as a self-care and self-discovery tool.
  22. Support the normalization of tarot.
Waxing Moon Morning Sky Mjuii x Fujifilm Industrial 100

Shedding Some Light on The Moon

“What is your association with The Moon card?”

My tarot teacher asked me when we practiced reading tarot with a spread.

I told her that:

“I always feel a strong connection to the moon. I also find The Moon card on most tarot decks attractive”.

She seemed a bit relieved by my answer, before going on explaining that tarot readers have divided perceptions about The Moon card; some consider it as a good card, while others find it difficult.

I looked at the card on the spread. We were using the Rider Waite Smith tarot deck. There a few things going on for sure. The lobster, the howling dogs, the towers with the dark sky draping the background. But nothing calls out to be as a problematic.

Yes, the moon can be emotional, but so are we, are we not?

I put my thoughts aside and continued reading the spread. I interpreted The Moon as I needed to wait for a whole month before being able to see any progress.


The Moon card (Pisces) itself is about intuition.

The Moon


It’s time to let the moon illuminate our dark side. For us to embrace our shadow-self, to go deeper inside, in the effort of understanding ourselves better.


The other day, I meditated under the full moon on Aries. Again a homework from my teacher. I took out all The Moon cards my all the tarot decks (excluding Rider Waite Smith tarot deck, as these days I only use it as a point of reference) I owned to contemplate more on it.

The depiction in The Spacious Tarot deck is my favourite. The card is dominated by a large moon – which reminds me of the time I went to Uluru and saw the moon up close point. It also has two mushrooms on it, which reminds me of The Lovers tarot card.

After spending sometime with The Moon tarot cards, I journaled about it – a whole three pages in my Moleskin. I am not ready to share it here yet. Thought at this rate, I have a feeling that I will eventually share it with you but for now, do know it has been cathartic.

That night, I honoured the moon’s energy by drinking Lavender tea and going to bed with Selenite charging me from the bedside table.

The Hanged Man Tarot

Hanging Out with The Hanged Man

While tarot muggles usually fear the Death card (thanks to the pop-culture), some tarot readers find The Hanged Man as one of the most challenging cards, both to read and in reading.

The Hanged Man traditionally drawn as a man being hanged upside-down by one ankle, but he looks calm as if he is doing this by his own choice. The interpretation of it varies from self-sacrifice, waiting, being stuck to contemplation.

At the beginning of my tarot journey, I tended to put a little importance on The Hanged Man. if I pulled it in the mornings as a daily drawing I deemed it as:

“it’s going to be a chill day”

Or if it’s a yes/no question or as the answer to a situational question as:

“must wait”

That’s pretty much it.

Until I learned that The Hanged Man is my birth card.

After sulking why my birth card wasn’t Strength, The Star or even The Tower, I slowly built a connection with The Hanged Man.

I made an effort to understand it. Starting by deliberately spending more time with it to reviewing the same card on different decks.

I have since learned that The Hanged Man is about the liminal space (what a cool term, might make it as a blog name).

Not unlike The Fool.

The difference though, The Fool is more like taking a deep breath before stepping into the next thing. It’s the space between two things, two actions; sort of like a comma. Meanwhile, The Hanged Man ranged from meditative breaths to being or choosing to be “stuck” in that space for a certain period.

Hence the need to be thread it a bit more mindfully.

I find this interesting, especially relating to it being my birth card because if there is one thing I can’t stand in life, it’s the feeling of being stuck. A situation that I have been avoiding and wriggled-out-from all my life. Being stuck, restrained and controlled is entirely against my nature. Which is why when I realized that Hanged Man could also be a deliberate choice of not to be grounded, it made much more sense to me.

And I could relate to it to a T.

I also learned that The Hanged Man is the most potent tarot card in Shamanism. As the person who looks like he is hanging in our world, essentially is standing in another world. They are also often seen as the meditating Buddha.

Numerical wise, The Hanged Man equates to number three, which is a powerful number in witchcraft and represents growth in the world of tarot.

All these and more learning only grow my fascination with The Hanged Man.

Image-wise my fave depiction of The Hanged Man comes from the Spacious Tarot deck (no surprise there I guess, it’s a favorite deck of mine). In here The Hanged Man has been renamed to The Hanged One — which I appreciate as it’s more of inclusive rep — accompanied by the image of half earth floating in the galaxy seen from the Moon’s vantage point.

In a word, it’s gorgeous.

It also made me wonder whether we all are in a perpetual hanging position, floating in this world.

Being the in-between beings.

It serves a great reminder that we are just passing through this world while paradoxically asking us to hit a pause and enjoy the moment.

Tower Moments

Of all the “bad cards” in tarot, the Tower is something I am comfortable with. Maybe even a little too comfortable.

The 16th card from the Major Arcana, the Tower is traditionally seen as the representation of disaster, sudden change, significant disruption and chaos.

Those are enough reasons for people to not want to see it in a reading.

It makes sense. We, human beings, tend to seek stability in our lives. I am no different. As I write this on top of my picnic rug, in the park soaking the sun, eating the cheese and getting a bit buzzed from the wine, I too don’t wish for the rug to be pulled from under my feet. Both metaphorically and literally.

But it didn’t start this way for me.

I came from a somewhat traditional Indian family. I say somewhat because my parents are smart people with kind hearts who want nothing but, what they think, as the best for their daughter. But at the same time, they are bogged down by society and at times dated and jaded traditions. Growing up, it had always been a constant struggle between following the social values and just being a child, and later, a teenager. For example, they would let me wear whatever I wanted, which was more than most Indian girls growing up in a traditional family could ask for. But at the same time, I wasn’t allowed to date.

I did both. With that, I turned into the rebel of the family and started what I called as my Tower moments.

My Tower moments started when I, as a teenager, laughed on the face of the priest who told Amma that he could magically make me stop rebelling. A major tower moment was when I cancelled my wedding a couple of weeks before the day. Another one, when I moved to Singapore without a job and proceeded to live there for almost a decade before uprooting the somewhat comfortable life I had built for myself to go back home because I wanted to heal my relationship with my parents. Again without a job. I also summoned The Tower when I migrated to Melbourne, and again when I married someone from a different background in Bali. This time without any priest.

The Tower is a shadow self that I have accepted. It taught me to be calm throughout chaotic periods in my life. From the period when my dad stopped talking to me to being bullied; even when I was made redundant. I went through these with a zen-ish outlook.

And I know I can go through similar shit moments in the future because I had deliberately chosen to walk through worse things, either because it aligned with my values or to chase my dreams.

I also learned that even though I always have plans for my life (Virgo baby!), sometimes the Universe grants my wishes in different ways. And based on my past experiences, it could just be in the Tower mode.

It’s good to remember that fundamentally the Tower is about radical changes. A reminder to:

“Be positive, it is time to replace the old foundations of the past with something that is more genuine and will serve better in what is to come”

Labyrinthos.


Not gonna lie, knowing that — if tomorrow, something happens and I have to uproot my life yet again — I can do it, feels pretty empowering. And I blame my semi-traditional Indian parents for it. They shouldn’t have instilled the value of resilience in the young rebellious me.

Tarot A Memoir

It took me the whole week to decide on the theme of the memoir I am writing for NaMeWriMo. I toyed with the ideas between Covid Diary and Tarot. Though Covid Diary would be more of a timely topic, I am not ready to write it yet. The past few months have been a messy period for me emotionally, and I need to untangle those feelings in a personal journal first before cooking it into a memoir.

So tarot it is.

Why Tarot Memoir?

Because I want to learn about tarot.

I remember a conversation between the Russian photography teacher and me in Federation Square Beer Deluxe years ago. He asked me what my biggest passion in life was. I told him it has always been writing. Then he gave me a piece of advice that I still hold very highly:

“Take your photos from a writer’s perspective. Seek the story behind your photo and write your stories with your photos”.

– Al.

And I am going to apply the same principle to my tarot learning journey. I want to learn and get better at it by writing stories, my memoir, with those cards.

I have been doing it sporadically anyway (either on the tarot journal or here), might as well try to write it with a deadline. All 78 cards within this month. Whether I will succeed in doing so or not, that will be a problem for future me to handle. For now, it feels like the right thing to do. And more than that, I feel good about it.

Ps. I wonder whether writing NaMeWriMo centering on tarot is a good enough excuse to get another deck in the name of furthering my education? I have been eyeing the Moon Void Tarot deck by Stefanie Caponi for some time now.