It’s my third day of working with the Spacious Tarot deck. I pulled my card of the day this morning and “huh?!”-ed it.
I have a packed day ahead. I have to work, run, and study chapter 3 from start and to finish. If I play my cards right (pun intended), I’ll be done right before my bed time. Enough time for me to sink on the bed with Nora Ephron’s Heartburn.
“Then why Four of Swords?”, I wondered.
Four of Swords is about resting, pausing and taking a break.
I couldn’t afford to take a break, I have an exam next week! So I put the card aside and went on with my day.
I cruised through work and got ready to change my gear into studying. But, for the love of all things Ethics, I couldn’t. I was tired and snooze-y.
And I tried.
I tried to study from 4PM which soon became 5.30 PM and then 7 PM. The minutes and hours kept passing, my brain refused to absorb anything.
I couldn’t focus however much I tried.
I admitted defeat at 9 PM and went to take a shower.
In the shower, I kept thinking about how bizarre the day has been.
Though I am not the most disciplined person I know, I am usually able to trick myself into studying. Be it with snacks, turning the chapters completion into games, or telling myself to commit just to one more page.
But no tricks worked today.
Oh well, If my brain refused to learn today, so be it I thought.
That included UberEats-ing bubble tea and telling myself I could play with my phone after every 45 mins of studying.
Then only it dawned on me — that was what the Four of Swords was telling me about in the morning. That, I would be resting even if it’s forced, instead of my own choosing.
Either that, or the card has been suggestively sending signals to my brain to rest all day.
Not that it mattered anymore. It is past midnight now. I will restart my study tomorrow. Hopefully this time, won’t get the Seven of Pentacles.